The Best and Worst Theories About Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

As far as we’re aware, the only person to have ever perfected invisibility when it comes to planes is Wonder Woman, and to the best of our knowledge that’s not a technology she’s ever been willing to share. Also, she’s a fictional character. That isn’t stopping people from suggesting that the plane cannot be found because it was outfitted with a new invisibility technology that cloaks it from view. One of the driving reasons some kooks are latching onto this theory is the fact that 20 of the passengers aboard flight 370 worked for a company called Freescale Semiconductor, which provides technology to organizations including NASA.

When it comes to conspiracy theories and nutjobs, it doesn’t get much better than Courtney Love since she falls under both umbrellas. After all, she’s been linked to one of the most notorious celebrity conspiracy theories ever with the death of her late husband Kurt Cobain. Anyway, this isn’t so much a conspiracy theory on Courtney Love’s part so much as a quick Microsoft Paint job in which she claims to have actually found the plane about a mile from where it lost contact. She also claims there’s some sort of oil spill in the area, though we aren’t entirely sure what she’s suggesting caused both the oil spill and the plane crash.

You can’t really talk about a mysterious disappearance without bringing up aliens, can you? Not surprisingly this isn’t a theory that’s gaining a whole lot of traction, but that’s not stopping people all over social media from suggesting that during the flight an alien craft swooped down and sucked up the plane and all of its passengers. No motivation was really given, of course, but then again who knows what those nutty aliens want this time? Probably just haven’t done much probing lately and were getting a little antsy. While we’re at it with the theory about aliens, may we take it in a slightly different direction and suggest it may have had something to do with the Langoliers?

This is a conspiracy being championed by the conspiracy theory-loving, blowhard nutjob himself, Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh suggested that somewhere along the flight’s path, there was electronic failure that put the plane in the dark, both literally and in terms of communications. And since they were unable to communicate on their way back to Kuala Lumpur – oh, by the way, that’s part of his theory, that they turned around and were headed back – an unnamed “hostile country” decided it would be a good idea to shoot them down. On top of that, Limbaugh believes that the mistake was discovered, meaning that this whole thing has been a massive cover-up. Because of course it has, Rush. Seems totally logical.

We aren’t entirely sure why anyone would reroute a plane after turning off the transponder, only to fly it to some remote destination and land safely, but that’s a theory that’s being bandied about on the internet. Some people are suggesting that, for whatever reasons, the pilots simply decided they wanted to go off the grid and apparently settle in some exotic foreign country. Never mind the fact that this theory would need the cooperation of over 200 passengers, but the fact of the matter is a Boeing 777 is a massive plane, and not exactly something that can be casually hidden away after landing. We think whoever came up with this theory has watched Con Air one too many times, personally.

One of the theories that actually seems moderately reasonable is the concept that the plane was simply hijacked. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time a plane has been hijacked, and it also certainly wouldn’t be the first act of terror to take place on a passenger airplane. One of the things that lends some credence to this theory is the fact that the pilots of the plane were never particularly shy about opening the cockpit to a few choice passengers, having invited women in on previous flights. In addition, several of the passengers were reportedly traveling on stolen passports under false identities, though at this point it’s believed they were simply attempting to emigrate to Europe. Still, the fact that there’s been no sign of the plane and no demands made by any hijackers makes us think this one probably isn’t true. Or, if it was a hijacking, it simply went horribly wrong and the plane crashed into the ocean.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that one of the leading conspiracy theories about the disappearance of flight 370 links it to supposed phenomena like the Bermuda Triangle. Naturally when a plane vanishes, people are going to latch onto the supernatural, or in this case, a black hole theory. It’s actually been suggested, and brought up on Yahoo! and CNN that the flight may have vanished through a black hole, which is a theory that people with anything resembling a brain have been quick to dismiss. One such person is Mary Schiavo, a former employee of the US Department of Transportation who, when asked about the possibility of a black hole, was quick to point out that “the Bermuda Triangle is often weather and Lost is a TV show.” Well put, Mary.