Kickstarter has brought us many great things, but it’s also exposed us to some of the most uninspired or outright dumbest ideas people can concoct.
Sometimes it’s the nature of the product itself, sometimes it’s the pitch, but as the saying goes, “there are always more losers than winners.” Here are 10 Kickstarters that were never going to make it.
10Donald Trump National Ad Campaign
Fun fact: Donald Trump is insanely wealthy. You may have heard him talk about it once or twice. So why should you help a “group of entrepreneurs, friends, and family members” fund a national ad campaign for the man? Well, only ten people donated and presumably could have answered that question, though we have no idea what that answer could be.
9Finding Flight 370
This is only one of two Flight 370 investigation projects on Kickstarter (don’t worry—the other one failed too).
This one, which got zero backers for its $52,000 goal, is focused on “ruling out the obvious” by following the flight’s original path, as though that hasn’t been done already.
8Erotic Reading List
For people who own a computer, want an internet reference for erotic literature, but don’t understand how a search engine works. For the low asking price of $45,000, you can enter “Bigfoot erotica” (their example, not mine) in their proposed website instead of Google.
7Scarereports
Pitched as a website to report your spooky going-on. The person behind this project, who doesn’t seem to understand coding based on what he wrote, gives an example of how the site could be used: “Maybe your (sic) buying a house and would like to know if a particular address has had any paranormal activity.” You’ll be shocked to learn this project was also a failed GoFundMe.
6RightWay_On the go H20
This proposed product is a 2oz packet of water. That’s it. For times when you can’t bring some container of water but need to take medicine. So you have a packet of water, which the pitch sells on the convenience factor. How many scenarios can you think of where a bottle of water is a no-go? Enough to warrant a $27,000 investment?
5I Want to Publish my Book JFK Closure
This author believes their biological father was John F. Kennedy—they even appeared in some tabloids years ago. Their claim seems to be based largely on three things: when they were born (1964), where they were raised (Washington, D.C.), and something their adoptive parents said.
It wasn’t going to go anywhere since, you know, there’s seemingly no proof, but the saddest part was how little he was asking for $500 to publish his ebook, and not a dollar raised.
4Freedom Lost
Books on Kickstarter are a pretty common sight. Here the author proposes a novel based on a world where martial law is declared under FEMA.
Strangely enough, these sort of political thriller/conspiracy theory novels does very well on Amazon’s CreateSpace market. So why take it to Kickstarter at all looking for $4,000?
3Europa Park – Die Toiletten
A good idea: promoting something you love. Not always a good idea: promoting something you love in a quirky way but seeking other people to pay for it.
This photographer wanted to promote an amusement park with a portfolio focused entirely on its apparently amazing toilets.
2MTG For Everyone!
A fan of Magic: the Gathering, concerned that the most successful trading card game ever made was somehow in danger, hoped that internet strangers would pay for him to buy cards to show other people how to play his beloved game.
He probably could have done this with his own collection (which he alludes to), which may be why Kickstarter suspended this brilliant and not-at-all foolish idea.
1Jesus Melts For You
This is proof that fame won’t always mean success. Cosimo Cavallaro made a controversial nude life-sized Jesus out of chocolate.
The outrage was such that an exhibition featuring the piece was canned in 2007. In 2013 he took to Kickstarter to fund a performance piece wherein he would melt the Christ and make a documentary about it. He managed $110 of the $98,000 goal.
