One of the first big decisions of pregnancy has nothing to do with baby names, nursery colors, or stroller brands. It’s the moment someone asks, “Are you finding out what you’re having?” And just like that, you’re either team “Tell me everything” or “We love a surprise.”
For some, the answer is obvious. They either can’t wait to know or can’t imagine ruining the big reveal. But for plenty of expecting parents, it’s not that simple. The idea of knowing can feel exciting, but so can the mystery.
If you’re on the fence about whether to peek at the answer or wait until delivery day, let’s break down the real pros and cons—beyond just picking nursery paint.
The Case for Finding Out
Knowing your baby’s gender can feel like unlocking the next level of connection. It turns “the baby” into a specific little person, making it easier to picture your life with them. Some people feel an instant bond after learning, imagining their future as they shop for clothes, pick out names, or just sit quietly with their hand on their belly, picturing what’s to come.
There’s also the practical side. Some people love the idea of preparing everything in advance—clothes, room decor, even mentally adjusting to parenting a boy or a girl. And for those with strong cultural or family traditions tied to gender, finding out early can help them plan meaningful celebrations or honor specific naming customs.
Then there’s the emotional side. If you’re someone who struggles with the unknown, finding out can bring a sense of stability. Pregnancy is full of surprises—body changes, unexpected symptoms, the general feeling that you have no control over anything. Knowing the gender is one of the few pieces of information you can get ahead of time, and for some, that makes all the difference.
The Case for Keeping It a Surprise
On the flip side, there’s something undeniably special about waiting. There aren’t many true surprises left in life, and for people who love the anticipation, nothing beats that delivery room moment when the doctor says, “It’s a…!”
Beyond the excitement, waiting can also help avoid gender-based expectations before the baby even arrives. When people don’t know, they tend to give more neutral gifts, ask more open-ended questions, and focus less on stereotypes. If you love the idea of keeping things simple and avoiding an avalanche of pink or blue, staying in the dark might be the way to go.
Some parents also say that not knowing helped them connect with their baby in a more organic way. Instead of thinking about raising a boy or a girl, they focused on just raising their child. And while every pregnancy is different, many who waited said it made the birth itself feel even more special, adding an extra layer of emotion to an already life-changing moment.
When One Parent Wants to Know and the Other Doesn’t
Not every couple is on the same page about this decision, and that’s where things get tricky. One parent might be dying to find out, while the other is adamant about keeping it a surprise. So, what happens then?
For some couples, the compromise is simple—one finds out while the other doesn’t. It takes some serious discipline (and a trustworthy partner who won’t accidentally spill), but it’s doable. Others have one parent find out but keep it to themselves, secretly enjoying the knowledge without sharing. And in some cases, the decision comes down to who feels more strongly. If one parent is on the fence while the other is passionate about waiting (or knowing), sometimes the best move is to let the person with the stronger preference take the lead.
No matter what, open communication is key. Talk through why you each feel the way you do, be honest about your expectations, and make sure that whatever choice you make, you’re both on board with it. Because the best way to start parenting together? Figuring out how to navigate decisions as a team.
The Fun (and Sometimes Weird) Ways to Guess
If you’re not finding out but still love a good mystery, there’s no shortage of ways to make an educated—or completely ridiculous—guess. Some people swear by old wives’ tales, reading into every craving, belly shape, and mood swing like they hold the answer. Others turn to things like astrology, dreams, or family history, convinced there’s a pattern to be found.
One of the most talked-about methods? The Chinese calendar baby gender for 2025. Based on an ancient chart that matches the mother’s age with the month of conception, it’s one of those things people either swear by or completely dismiss. But whether it’s scientifically accurate or just a fun way to pass the time, it’s definitely a conversation starter.
Of course, some couples turn baby guessing into a full-on event, placing bets, polling friends and family, or mixing multiple methods together to see which ones line up. Because even if you’re waiting for the official reveal, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with the process.
What If the Ultrasound is Wrong?
For those who do decide to find out, there’s always the lingering fear—what if they get it wrong? While ultrasound technology is extremely accurate, mistakes do happen. Positioning, timing, and even the technician’s experience all play a role, and there have been plenty of parents who spent months calling their baby one name, only to be completely shocked in the delivery room.
Then there are the more high-tech options. Blood tests can determine gender with near certainty as early as 10 weeks, which is helpful for those who want an early answer—or need to know for medical reasons. Some genetic tests also confirm gender along with screening for certain conditions, making them a two-in-one deal.
But if you’re someone who doesn’t handle surprises well, it’s always good to prepare for the slight chance that the information you get might not be 100% certain. Because while it’s not like paternity testing in terms of absolute accuracy, it’s still possible to get the occasional curveball.
The Right Choice is Yours
Whether or not you find out your baby’s gender has no impact on how much you’ll love them, how well you’ll parent, or what kind of bond you’ll have. It’s just a matter of personal preference.
Some people feel like they need to know, some want the surprise, and others change their minds halfway through pregnancy. Whatever you decide, it’s your journey, your experience, and your baby—so trust yourself to make the choice that feels right for you.
