Celebrity endorsements are a good way to sell a product, but it only works if the right celebrity is chosen. For example, it’s a great idea to have an athlete promoting a sports drink, but not such a great idea to have an alcoholic rock star shilling beer. Some companies attempt to get around this problem by picking a celebrity that has absolutely nothing to do with their product, and the commercials that result from these combinations are very weird.
1.
Ozzy Osbourne Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
It’s been a long time since Ozzy Osbourne was credible, but just because you’ve lost the respect of the music world doesn’t mean you have to embrace your new status with wide open arms. Ozzy’s taken it upon himself to advertise everything from Pepsi to World of Warcraft, but it’s his promotion of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter that’s especially baffling.
Let’s ignore the fact that you don’t really need to bring in a celebrity to sell freaking margarine, and instead focus on the insanity contained within the commercial. Ozzy stars alongside impressionist Jon Culshaw, who does his best Ozzy impersonation to create some sort of double Ozzy nightmare. The two of them make cupcakes together, and when the real Ozzy goes to get butter he can’t tell the difference between it and the margarine, probably because he’s stoned out of his mind. Then he sticks a flower in the fridge for some reason and mutters a line about being the Prince of Darkness as the commercial comes to a close. Well, if that won’t convince you to buy margarine, what will?
2.
John Lydon Prefers Good, Old Fashioned, English Butter
So with the margarine industry bringing out the big guns, what now irrelevant music star did butter counter with in an attempt to convince people that dairy based spreads are what the cool people eat? Why, punk rocker Johnny Rotten, of course! What, you couldn’t guess that the frontman of The Sex Pistols would end up shilling butter? Well, we have video evidence, and it’s ridiculous.
The ad features Johnny poking gentle fun at various British stereotypes, which seems a little tame for someone who was accused of assault and battery just a few months before this commercial aired. The whole thing is farcical, but it’s the shot of him being chased by a couple of cows while wearing the ugliest suit ever made that’s especially embarrassing to watch. Well, it could have been worse; at least he didn’t start singing “God Save Country Life Butter.”
3.
Iggy Pop Takes his Shirt off and has a Seizure for Swiftcover
We promise this whole list won’t just be musicians that have sold out, but Iggy Pop’s foray into the world of advertising is too ridiculous to not mention. Iggy is the spokesman for Swiftcover, a British insurance company, because apparently nothing says high quality insurance better than a sweaty, half-naked Iggy Pop doing his best impression of an epileptic.
What, you thought we were kidding? That’s all the commercial is: Iggy seizures around while rambling about how great Swiftcover is because he’s constantly losing his paperwork. We’re pretty sure Iggy’s not joking; he actually thinks his important documents are hiding from him. Would you buy insurance because an unorganised crazy man told you it was great? Well, maybe if he agreed to put his shirt back on.
4.
Alice Cooper Cooks for Ronnie Corbett, Advertises Television Provider
This is seriously the last rock star, we mean it. Look, it’s not our fault so many musicians have decided they’d rather be starring in crappy commercials instead of making another album; blame them, not us.
This commercial for Sky, a British satellite TV company, features the inexplicable combination of hard rocker Alice Cooper and Scottish comedian Ronnie Corbett. If you’re not familiar enough with Corbett to understand how baffling this partnership is, imagine if Marilyn Manson teamed up with Steve Guttenberg to promote TiVo. Actually, that’s not a very good analogy, but we like the imagery it provokes.
The ad has Cooper cooking dinner for a lazy and difficult to understand Corbett, and then they both settle down to watch some TV. It’s not as bad as seeing Ozzy in the kitchen, but when Cooper is using words like “fancy pants” while dressed in full rock star regalia it’s hard not to cringe. The commercial isn’t terrible or anything, but we’re not sure why Cooper is in it in the first place. Does seeing him in an apron make people want to buy television services? Maybe there’s some science behind that.
