Urine. Okay, let’s get that case of the giggles out of the way right now. Peeing is just another bodily function that needs to be done, despite the fact that it’s a nuisance when you wake up in the middle of the night with all that pressure on your bladder, or when you accidentally pee yourself after ten or twelve too many beers. But never mind the humiliation of still wetting the bed at age 20 (we won’t judge you too harshly); believe it or not urine can actually be a pretty handy thing to have on hand in a pinch. Just don’t pinch it off midstream, because that hurts like a mother. Anyway, here are some ways that people have managed to put urine to awfully good use…
1.
Peeing Out of an Avalanche
We know that we mentioned that drinking too many beers can lead to embarrassing urine related incidents, but now and then we are happy to report that excessive peeing caused by drinking beer can actually be a good thing. As in, it can actually save lives. Well, at least it has saved one life that we know of, but we’re sure there are untold numbers of stories where a guy who broke the urine seal too early on a night of drinking was saved by that excessive peeing. Probably. Maybe. Okay, so probably not.
The point remains that in 2005, a Slovak man was apparently driving along when an avalanche came crashing down, burying his car on the road. Like any of us when in that situation, the man just about peed himself thinking it was the end. Only unlike the rest of us, he put that pee to use. With about 60 beers in the car, his mind started racing and he formulated a plan. The plan? Chug those beers, break the seal and pee his way to freedom. That’s right – he drank 60 beers and slowly but surely peed his way out of the avalanche and was rescued shortly after. Man, when we pee and there’s snow around us, all we want to do is write our name.
This stuff could save your life
2.
Trapped Miners Survived on Pee
There probably are not many situations more terrifying than the prospect of being trapped in a coal mine. Coal mining is an insanely dangerous profession, whether you’re talking about those cave ins or the black lung like Derek Zoolander once got. Seriously though, coal mining is the type of job that only the manliest of men take on, and you could not pay us to go 300 feet underground and work all day in the pitch black with death lurking around every corner. So what do you do when you get trapped deep underground, with no food or water? You make do and survive however you can, and if you’re the Meng brothers, you eat coal and drink pee for six days until rescue finally arrives.
Working in their (illegal) Chinese coal mine in 2007, Meng Xianchen and Meng Xianyou were trapped when the mine collapsed. They awaited rescue, but after only two days those efforts were called off, leaving the brothers to fend for themselves and, in all likelihood, die of either asphyxiation, starvation or dehydration. However, the Mengs had other ideas. Along with chewing up and consuming lumps of coal in order to survive, which in and of itself is pretty freaking amazing and disgusting at the same time, the brothers also found two discarded water bottles and filled them with their own urine, slowly sipping it in order to stay hydrated. Eventually, after six days, they were rescued and rushed to the hospital. Needless to say, they quit the coal mining business. We can’t imagine what they could possibly have found so off putting about the profession.
Alive but, with the nickname “Peedrinker”, likely to die virgins.
